Memories Shared
by Sheyrena Wyrsabane
Summary: Tony finds Steve's compass in Howard's old things and returns it to him. They reminisce about Peggy, the young woman Steve knew and the older woman Tony knew. Steve/Peggy past relationship. Steve/Tony friendship.


Warnings: There are some reference to child abuse/an unhappy past.

* * *

"Hey, I found this going through some of Howard's old stuff," Tony said, handing Steve a small, rusted object.

Steve had been standing on the roof of Stark Tower when Tony came up, trying to see the stars, because at least they were a constant in his life, but the lights of the city were too bright and the pollution too thick, and all he could see was a layer of dark grey that settled over the city.

Steve accepted the object, turning it over in his hands, closing his fist around it when he recognized what it was.

"Open it," Tony said as Steve pressed his fist to his chest.

"I can't," Steve said, "but thank you. I had thought I lost this."

Tony smiled, and gave Steve's shoulder a squeeze, before heading back down to his workshop. He only had one more box to go through before Pepper would stop bugging him. For a day or two at least. He didn't see why she'd decided to go on a cleaning spree, but he supposed it was worth it since he found Steve's compass.

* * *

Steve didn't go anywhere without his compass since Tony had given it to him, but he still hadn't worked up the courage to open it. He knew what he would see inside, but he wasn't ready. He brushed this thumb over the corroded metal and wondered if her picture was even still intact. He was afraid to open it in case it wasn't. As long as he kept the locket closed, he could remember her, her dark hair piled up on her head and the slight smile that graced her lips.

"She was an incredible woman," Tony said, sitting down next to Steve on the couch. "I can see how you feel in love with her."

"You knew her?" Steve asked. He'd never considered that these people might know someone from his time.

"It was a long time after the army, but she and Howard kept in touch. She practically raised me." Tony smiled at a memory Steve couldn't see. "She told me stories about you, you know."

"She did?" Steve leaned closer, desperate to hear anything about Peggy, desperate to know that she'd been happy, that she'd found a way to move on, that she hadn't felt abandoned. He couldn't imagine what it had been like for her, the moment she thought he was dead, and the endless years afterward. Did her heart ache the way his did now?

"She never stopped loving you," Tony said, settling into the couch. "Never married, never dated, and never danced with a man after the crash."

Steve's fingers reflexively squeezed the compass at the reminder of the dance they never had. Her body would've been warm against his, and he would've held her delicately, her head resting on his chest as they moved to the music, caring about nothing but being together.

"She was the one who sparked my Captain America obsession. She got me comic books and action figures and posters, but she also told me stories. She told me about what really happened, about the first time she rode in a car with you, about the time you thought fondue was a euphemism for sex.

"And then everything went to hell." Tony sighed and looked past Steve into a world that Steve would never know. "I forget what started it, probably nothing, anything could get Howard angry when he drank, and he threw a bottle at Peggy. It didn't hit her, but it startled her real good, and I raced in with my Captain America shield to protect her."

Tony ran a hand through his hair. "I hit him with it, telling him that real men didn't scare women. It was just flimsy cardboard so he broke it over his knee. Later, after he'd kicked Peggy out, he burned it with the rest of my Captain America stuff. The next week we moved, and I never saw Peggy again."

Tony laughed and shook his head. "I thought for sure you-Captain America-would come rescue me from my father, and he'd whisk me away to find Peggy, and you two would raise me." Tony shook himself, coming out of the fantasy. "Obviously that didn't happen so I built myself a suit and rescued myself."

"Tony," Steve said, reaching out to his friend. He knew he'd known a different side of Howard Stark, that the genius who'd designed his shield and helped him infiltrate HYRDA wasn't the same Howard Stark that Tony had grown up with, but he hadn't realized it was this bad. He should've realized sooner. How long had Tony been hurting with Steve too oblivious, too caught up in his own problems to see it?

Tony knocked Steve's hand away. "I sat down to talk about you and ended up talking about myself. Typical." He laughed again, self-deprecating and got up. "I can show you how to use the internet tomorrow, and you can look up what happened to Peggy."

Steve caught Tony's wrist, forcing Tony to turn back and look at him. "I don't want the internet to tell me. I want someone who knew her to tell me. I," Steve paused and opened his hand to reveal the compass. "I was so caught up with what happened to me that I didn't realize that she might have impacted other people's lives."

He held his hand with the compass out to Tony. "This belongs to you as much as it does to me."

Tony shook his head. "No, that's yours. It's all you have of her."

"What about you?" Steve asked. "What do you have?"

Tony's hand subconsciously rose to rub his cheek. "I have a few nights where she tucked me into bed and kissed my cheek. Rare moments where I felt safe in my house. That's enough for me."

Tony smiled and broke Steve's grasp before walking out of the room. Steve leaned back against the couch, his thumb poised over clasp that would open the compass.


End file.
